Harmonizing – SimplyHarmony.com

The end of 2007 is only a couple of days away and it is only fitting that I acknowledge this fact. However, I’m not going to rundown each and every life-shaping event that I’ve experienced or life-affecting person I’ve encountered this year in story-detail. Yet, I will express my deep appreciation for the myriad of ways in which they’ve molded me thus far. So …

• Thank you … without ‘you’ I wouldn’t have known the direction that I am to move. It goes without saying, that ‘you’ have altered my life’s perspective in a way that no one ever will or can again. Thank you for the ultimate gift you’ve given me. You live in me always.
• Thank you … you have shown me that my vision is exactly as it should be …
• Thank you … for all that you have been to me and all that you are. There are no words to describe the impact you had and still have on my life. No apologies are needed.
• Thank you … if I hadn’t met you, I would have believed that all that glitters is platinum, thanks for proving otherwise … it was worth it.
• Thank you … opportunity presented and then taken away, without, I would not have risen.
• Thank you … song, my heart would still be bleeding without music to heal the wounds. Music has, and will always be, my doctor and therapy of choice.
• Thank you … ‘four simple words,’ for being the message that I needed at the time I needed to read it.
• Thank you … ‘intuition,’ for never proving me wrong. I will always follow where you lead.
• Thank you … letting go of you has given me back my strength.
• Thank you … my life has changed since you’ve entered it; I always say how ‘you’ll miss me when I’m gone,’ but it is the other way around. But you know that already …
• Thank you … excruciating pain, I wouldn’t have the deep appreciation for the extreme pleasures and simple joys of life without you … they mean so much more to me than I’ve ever could have imagined. Thank you for the pain and for all my tears.
• Thank you … true love, the kind that begins and ends with unconditional love of self … the kind that grows and gets deeper and stronger the more I learn who I am.
• Thank you … for ‘hating’ on me … it just proves to me how unlike you I am.
• Thank you … I always knew you had it in you … it’s unfortunate that you hurt yourself (in so many ways) more than you could ever damage me. Thanks for showing me who you are; that’s all I ever wanted from you.
• Thank you … anger, without it everything would be considered right and acceptable.
• Thank you … courage, at one point I thought you were lost, but somehow you were always there when I needed to call on you, that special reserve that once tapped, will always be what runs through me.
• Thank you … ‘Excuses,’ I had no idea I had so many until I heard them repeated in song.
• Thank you … fellow creative, you give my ideas life.
• Thank you … spontaneity, for taking me to the ‘city that never sleeps’ and for introducing me to a friendship that will never die.
• Thank you … your opinion of me matters for reasons even I don’t know. Thanks for waking me up before it was too late.
• Thank you … embodiment of pure joy … I’m completely humbled that you have accepted me with an open heart. I love you more than words can ever express and more than I can ever show. ‘Thank you’ is an understatement.
• Thank you … for giving me the final reason why I need to shut and lock that door and say ‘goodbye … forever’… the action and person are unforgivable.
• Thank you … judgment, had I not been the subject matter, I would not have known how unique and ‘different’ I was …
• Thank you … abandonment, I wouldn’t have known my worth without being left. Thanks for reminding me.
• Thank you … ‘abuse,’ if you hadn’t thrown the first ‘punch’ I would have no idea of how much I could take.
• Thank you … for being all that I wanted, now I know how much more that I really need.
• Thank you … ’soulitude,’ you have been the comfort throughout the noise, I would have broken had I not found what I needed in you every single time.
• Thank you … ‘Everything,’ no truer words have been sung at a time that I needed to hear them.
• Thank you … chances, no one truly deserves them, but am I ever grateful for the second, and even third ones that I get …
• Thank you … time, for every second that I have to breathe and for every minute I’m granted to eventually ‘get it right’ …
• Thank you … lies, every single one about me that has ever been told this year, without the lies, people of value wouldn’t have taken the time to discover what’s true. Thank you for showing me who is worthy, and who is not.
• Thank you … truth, that’s all I ever wanted to express to the loved one that needed to hear it at last. Truth hurts but always has the capacity to heal.
• Thank you … for blessing me with the gifts that I have, I will do my best to honor them and put them to use to the best of my ability.

This year has been extraordinary in so many ways, and that said, I express my deepest gratitude for every imaginable and unimaginable way in which I’ve evolved in 2007. I honestly cannot wait to see what the new year is going to bring.

CHEERS TO 2008!!!

I’ve spent the past several months rummaging through tucked away boxes and ridding myself of the clutter that has occupied my life for so long. And in the process I found myself remembering — remembering too much of certain moments that I’d rather not relive or recall, remnants of activities I’ve long given up, words I’d dare not repeat, and people I wouldn’t want to run into again not even in my own mind. As I continued my task of tossing away mementos of certain segments of my life, I realized that from time-to-time, something would happen (or someone would happen) to always bring me back to that particular time — romanticized. It never failed.

It wasn’t long ago that as hard as I tried to forget, I was inevitably reminded — a postcard would find its way to my mailbox, a voice would leave its imprint on my voice mail, an email would arrive in my inbox, or a message would be communicated through a former mutual friend. And as much as I tried to ignore it all and leave the past and the people connected to it behind me, it held its firm grip on my life, declaring its right to my present. Eventually I would give in and allow him or her access to my life. At the time, there were no indications that the past and all of its irritations, nuisances, headaches, and stings would repeat itself. None that were blatantly obvious, that is. None other than the fact that history does repeat itself, at least once.

Over the past few years, the people that I wanted so much to leave behind didn’t want to be left; for whatever reason they wanted to cling to some part of me; they felt some sort of entitlement, and I, in retrospect, gave them permission to do so and feel that way. I would pick up when she/he would call. I would spend time with the individual if they passionately insisted and if I had the time to engage them. I would try to recreate the time before I was cognizant. However, the ignorance I tried to feign wouldn’t last and their clinging would weigh me down. I couldn’t move far without stumbling over dead weight.

Ultimately, when one feels completely restricted, one must cut the ties, never again to re-tie the strings. And when one feels burdened by shades of past, one must rid herself of all of its reminders and its source — permanently. Snipping away at the myriad of strings is not as difficult as I originally anticipated it to be, and I’m not saddened by extracting the dead weight. It took a while, but now I leave the people and the events unromanticized … at last.

It wasn’t long ago that I was searching for the words, any words, to explain how I felt about what I was going through, and it wasn’t too long ago that I was seeking an answer for “La Enigma.” When I’m faced with a difficult situation I can usually express the distress that I’m feeling — and express it ever so clearly that my words are not misconstrued. I generally don’t like to speak on things unless I’m certain that my actions will follow through, so I leave things unsaid and unwritten until the moment of decision presents itself. Undecided, I did nothing and said nothing.

Enough time has passed since then and the enigma eventually evolved to the point of brilliant clarity. The words that I was looking for leapt off the page of a book and permanently into my psyche. “No person, no problem,” were the words that I couldn’t find and the answer that I was looking for — four simple words that are now my philosophy, words that will alleviate the pain of life’s biggest headaches and heartaches.