Over the years, I’ve met numerous artists and interesting characters whom each have their unique way of seeing life, viewing relationships, and communicating with others; some may even go as far as to call that person eccentric or eclectic. At times, some may believe that the artist is so skilled at creating worlds on paper or on canvas that the artist loses himself in his medium — rendering himself unable to distinguish his art from his reality.
Yet, knowing this, somehow it never ceases to amaze me how creative one can be. How a person can draw inspiration from the smallest thing and a seemingly insignificant event. I’m always surprised at how an artist can weave a tale out of thin air, one that has its reader so caught up in it that they tend to forget that it’s only fiction. Reality becomes slightly skewed and the characters are an exaggerated form of their inspiration. It takes an extremely talented person to create art that completely captivates its audience and causes them to lose perspective, and sometimes it takes an art connoisseur to be completely enamored by the art and the artist himself to be drawn into this world of make believe.
Eventually, the art loses its original appeal and it becomes apparent that this work is not without flaws, and this sphere that we were once happily dwelling in doesn’t really exist, and every word that was ever spoken should be dismissed as if they were never said at all. This work of art, which was once thought to be perfect and true, is no more, and this other realm was completely fabricated by the artist.
The New Year is upon us, and, as with every New Year, it fills many with hope — hope for a new career, a new love, a new body, a new whatever it is that they’re hoping for that the New Year will bring. And with the New Year, many people make major declarations and resolutions to do one thing or another — some reach their goal(s), but many do not. Attempts to change diets, careers, to finally get serious about whatever, to give up this, or to finally embrace that, so that the person could be a better version of themselves, are done half-heartedly and as a result inevitably fail. Why? Only the individual knows the answer, and I can only speak for myself.
There are many times that I’ve looked to the New Year and prayed that it would be better than the previous year (especially these past two years). Then, halfway through the year I would realize that although some things did improve or change altogether, some feelings and situations, however, remained the same.
I couldn’t figure out why certain areas of my life did not improve or change to my liking. I didn’t understand why certain activities just weren’t good enough. I couldn’t figure out why I always felt stuck, even when things were moving along smoothly and I was accomplishing many of my goals. It was hard to grasp why I always felt like an outsider in my hometown. It was confusing to feel like a stranger among old ‘friends.’ I was never entirely fulfilled. I knew there was more for me. The answer was there, it’s just that at that particular time I couldn’t quite put my finger on it … but I have.
Last year I vacationed in Paris, France; California, and visited New York City again, and it was in my travels that I discovered the root of my discontentment — I need to move. I desperately need new energy, new people to vibe and connect with, new surroundings, new activities, a new ‘home’ to thrive in — not a new year. For years I’ve tried to stick it out here in the Pitts, but the truth is it is past time for me to be uprooted and transplanted. Permanently.
The Pitts is just not for me. I’m beyond tired of running into the same people who are talking about the same thing — things they’ve been saying they are going to do for many years now (and of course haven’t). It’s exhausting to have the same conversation over and over again with the same person who is complaining about the same things they’ve been complaining about since the 90s. It’s old going into the same clubs/lounges and hearing the same people say they are about to ‘blow up’ and about to sign with this big label or that one. It’s tiring to hear people talk about the same people because they run with the same clique they’ve been in since middle school. It’s draining for me to spend my energy avoiding people that I never want to see again because they are just a waste of space. And it’s utterly boring and depressing to not enjoy my life to the fullest (and as a result stay home a lot of the time) because this city lacks events, opportunities, beaches, excitement, culture, etc.,.
I’m absolutely positive that I’ll have people come to me and try to get me to stay by saying such things as, ‘running away from problems will not work,’ or ‘you’ll never make it out there, it’s way too expensive to live there,’ or maybe I’ll hear someone say, ‘the people out there are fake, be careful,’ or, ‘wherever you go, there you are,’ or ‘you’ll be back,’ etc., etc.
I’m used to people trying to talk to me out of decisions or people thinking they know me better than myself. However, this wouldn’t be the first time that someone I know has tried to convince me that my dreams and goals are too big or too ‘out there’ to be realized. I recall someone asking me, ‘why can’t you be like everyone else?’ and they were actually serious.
Unfortunately (for them), I refuse to be persuaded to settle just because they have …
