Change is one of those mystical phenomenons that most aren’t aware of until the transformation is complete. One knows where the journey began, but all the intricate details of how one got from there to here are lost on most if not all. How someone got to where they are now standing is a mystery – a complicated and magical happening that many don’t have the clues to solve. A puzzle to everyone except the one it involves. And in the few months since my departure from The ‘Burgh, I’ve realized that I didn’t just leave my hometown, I’ve left behind so much more.
Quite often I find myself lost in thought running around in circles as I try to pinpoint those exact moments when I detached. I desperately try to hold onto those fleeting fragments of time so that I can examine them more closely as I seek answers to my seemingly unending questions. And when I do make those enlightening discoveries I contemplate my former decisions and wonder if I should have let go sooner or perhaps waited a little longer. Either way, I am no longer connected.
I moved on.
The shimmering moments become crystal clear as I emotionally and physically find myself being carried away to somewhere other than there. I am unsure of exactly where it is I am headed but certain that where I used to reside, I no longer dwell. What I do know and have come to innerstand is that as I look back to last year, last month, and last week, I see that I couldn’t be further away from where I used to live and from where I used to “live.”
I migrated.
I’ve migrated from my desire to want to be anywhere else.
I’ve migrated from my need to share.
I’ve migrated from my need to stay.
I’ve migrated from where we were.
I’ve migrated from the feeling of discomfort.
I’ve migrated from an otherworldly level of pain.
I’ve migrated from when we were.
I’ve migrated from overcompensation.
I’ve migrated from the need to be understood.
I’ve migrated from impossibility.
I’ve migrated from the pressure.
I’ve migrated from the need to apologize.
I’ve migrated from explanation.
I’ve migrated from guilt.
I’ve migrated from that place those tears have shed.
And, I’ve migrated from where you are.
I wish I felt compelled to pen my many migrations as I ruminate over the myriad of ways from which I’ve migrated — a kaleidoscope of thoughts on a life that always truly evolves. But, I don’t. I’ve been taken far, far away from where I used to be and all the ways I used to be. I now make my home in unchartered places that, at times, unbeknownst to me, I’ve found I’ve migrated to.
