There are things that are no longer the same. That’s a blanket statement, I know, but there is no other way to say it without going into minute detail of which is no real importance except to me. I can’t say when exactly these particular changes occurred, but they did, and I’m glad they did at the time that they did.
My tolerance level for certain people, things, and activities is not on the level that it was once. And I should be grateful. I used to be able to shoulder a lot, all of which was some variation of nonsense that I could have done without, but I can’t do it anymore. And as a matter of fact, I don’t.
At times I wish I could pinpoint the exact moment(s) that I knew that it was over and that something wasn’t going to be anymore. When I knew that there is not a next time on the horizon. Because if I could pinpoint it, I would know for the next time. I would know when something or someone was unwittingly approaching that invisible line that was bound to be crossed. But, it’s hard to wish for something that wasn’t necessarily there to begin with.
Eventually, and over varying periods of time, I realized that I didn’t need that person, those people, and those things in my life. And I don’t. I didn’t need to do that anymore, so I stopped. I didn’t need to hear that anymore, so I quit listening. I can’t and won’t live like that any longer, so I don’t. There is ’stuff’ that can’t be a part of my life, not in any form, so it is not.
Yes, I’ve made a lot of decisions lately and will continue to make even more. And these decisions, these thoughtful and life altering changes are as necessary to me as I am to me.
