“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one” — C.S. Lewis

Throughout my twenties, I had a group of girlfriends that I would pretty much do everything with socially. These girls were fun, smart, pretty, unique and interesting, and I loved to have them around as they could always be counted on for a good time, great chats, and rolling fits of laughter at often the most inappropriate times. Sadly, most of those friendships have since faded away as we relocated to new cities or states, had children, got married, or (as with a lot of friendships) we simply grew apart as we matured and went in different directions in life.

Now as I make my way through my 30s, I am learning that making friends isn’t nearly as easy as it was when I was in my 20s – And relocating two times in the past 2.5 years doesn’t help the friendship dilemma either. But knowing that relationships and social ties are very important to happiness, overall well-being, and a longer life, I have forged ahead despite my current predicament and am making new friends that will hopefully last for many years to come.

How, might you ask? By breaking out of my comfort zone, being proactive, and putting forth the energy to make it happen. So, to share my hard-won wisdom, here are my top 5 strategies that are working for me as I work to turn a few people I just met into friends of many years.

1. Attend Events – Book signings, poetry readings, happy hours, networking events, and art exhibits are excellent places to meet new people and possibly make a friend. Many people attend events such as those listed solo just for that very reason. I can’t tell you the number of fantastic people that I’ve met by doing just that; many of whom I’ve grown quite close to as a result of simply showing up.
2. Accept Invitations – Think back the last invitation that you received. Did you accept or decline? I will admit that I used to turn down invitations all the time. Not because I didn’t want to go to the party or brunch or whatever it was that I was invited to, but mainly because I am pretty introverted. However, once I relocated from the east coast to the west coast, I had to step out of my comfort zone in order to meet people and have fun. Now, I accept as many invitations as my schedule allows and try not to turn down an invitation unless I absolutely can’t make it.
3. Join Meetup.com – I first heard about Meetup.com while I was in graduate school, but the city that I lived in at the time (a small one) didn’t have many meetup groups listed on the site and the groups that were there weren’t very active, so needless to say I didn’t join. But once I relocated to San Diego, California, and settled into my new job and apartment I joined the site. (It’s free!) And to my surprise the site had grown tremendously over the past several years. I found countless groups that interested me and made an effort to attend their events and mingle with the group members. I’ve met many talented and lovely people on that site, and I continue to use it now as I settle down in my new home in a new state with my darling hubby.
4. Get a Hobby – Sounds like a tired cliché, right? Hey, well, what can I say? It’s true. In order to meet like-minded people you have to go where there are like-mined people. If you have a hobby, maybe it’s time to take it a bit more seriously. And if you have an interest in an activity, maybe now is the time that you should explore it. Joining a group or community of people who have the very same interest(s) as you creates a greater chance of connecting with someone and a better chance of you becoming faster friends with several people at once. In my new home state I’ve been looking into taking photography and candle making classes and I’m certain there will be talented ladies there who without a doubt share a common interest.
5. Meet Your Friend’s Friends – They say that one of the best ways to meet a potential boyfriend or your future husband is to be introduced to him via a mutual friend or acquaintance. I think that is also a great way to make a new female friend! I’ve met a couple of good friends through an old friend and because we already had something in common – our friend – we already had a feeling that we would hit it off. And we did! So I say it doesn’t hurt to connect with new people you hang out with occasionally and ask them to bring a friend or two with them the next time you hit up a happy hour, wine bar, or host a dinner party. The more the merrier! And you just might meet your new BFF.

How do you make new friends? What has worked for you and what hasn’t?